Category: fancykristen

If You Have to Sell Your Private Boeing 747 Then You’re Not Really Royalty

Royalty is overrated, I tell you. First we have a royal family who’s only job seems to be getting married and now we have another that can’t even hold onto its fucking plane. The world is going to the dogs and it’s starting with the nobility. Read more…

My Irish Manor Has a Karting Track Because I Can Do Whatever The Hell I Want

You, a member of the down-trodden proletariat, toil away at your jobs in order to afford basic necessities like alimony payments and middle-shelf liquor. When you need a break, you call up your friends and organize a karting event, hoping the wind that…

My Irish Manor Has a Karting Track Because I Can Do Whatever The Hell I Want

You, a member of the down-trodden proletariat, toil away at your jobs in order to afford basic necessities like alimony payments and middle-shelf liquor. When you need a break, you call up your friends and organize a karting event, hoping the wind that…

Why on Earth Would You Morons Think This is My Condo?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had several emails read to me that were sent from you people, wondering if this new condo that you’d read about in Miami belonged to me. No, it does not, and it’s rude of you to think so.Read more…

The Wood in My Bentley Isn’t Woody Enough

You know what pisses me off the most? Shitty wood. It’s worse than posers decked out in cubic zirconia and socks pretending to be fucking sneakers. There’s been too much shitty wood in this world for too long. It’s time to put a stop to it.Read more……

Here’s Me On My Mercedes-Benz Picnic

It’s officially summer and I’m told that the commonfolk start bellyaching for something called a “vacation” during these warm months. I suppose it’s something of a break from the “work” they do to “earn” money and pay their “bills.” But what the hell, …

Comment Of The Day: Class Differences Edition

Whoever said that all men are created equal was full of shit. All men are not created equal and those differences manifest themselves in bigger and bigger ways as time goes on—especially when cars are part of the equation. Read more…

I Am Purchasing A ‘City Car’

Summer is upon us once again, which means that I will have to travel to the disgusting cesspool of New York City at least a few times to check on some… investments. Transportation there has always been tricky, but luckily I have come across what I un…

I Can’t See, Hear Or Smell Any Of The Poors Thanks To Volvo’s New S90 Ambience Concept

As I have laid out to you before, I hate using public roadways. Not only is the plebish threat of traffic a very real thing, I am also forced to look at the common folk—an event that leaves me with migraines and mild indigestion for hours afterwards. W…